Monday, December 31, 2007

Don't if you Can't

If you can't fulfil your promise. Don't bother to make one. I was just learning to trust people again, but you pulled me down into that little miserable life of yours. Anyways, you left me. It's predictable isn't it? You come and you go. Come back and hope everything to be normal again. Well, you know what? I ain't gonna let you break me.

And to the one who promised to be like him. I told you not to promise me that. But you were willing to take the risk. Well, see what happened? I think you actually forgot your promise. You may not even remember it.

All the best in the near future!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

love and its kuncu2.

Specially for people like my age:

Love. What is the true meaning of it actually? Is it showing your affection towards the opposite gender or a feeling that makes you happy? many defined love. And all of it are true. But, how do we differentiate love, crush, admire, adore and anything related to it? Some people just mix it up together and call it true love. But after awhile, they found out that this person is not the right one for them. Left the person in distraught.

Sometimes we fight for the one we loved, only to find out they are not in love with us. Sometimes we chase them around, when we won their heart we don't know what else to do. Sometimes we put our hopes high, taller than the Eiffel Tower. Only to watch them crumbling down.

"Do not search for love, Let it come to you"

That's the most popular quote. But do we actually agree with it? From what I observed, my friends who agreed with that quote doesn't practice what they preach. Why search for your true love as early as your teenage life. We still have a long way to go. Very long indeed. Some work hard to search for true love. To rationalize, Just like what I said earlier how do you know that person is the right one for you. How are you going to support her when you can't support your ownself. At a young age our emotions are still unstable. Why search hard for it when Allah has already promise to pair up the Sholihaat with Sholihiin and the bad, likewise.

Maybe, all this thing about searching for love is just an obstacle for us to believe in HIS words. I watched every single love-struck-friends of mine crumbled down. They can't focus. They are blinded in their own fantasy that they forgot about reality. Fantasize to live forever with their true love happily ever after. Now, tell me how you are going to live happily ever after, when you do not obtain a good result to support your true love. (In other words that means, you can't get a good job without obtaining a good result)

I think I have write enough about this. Pardon me if this entry somehow hurt you in any ways. I just need to let it out because I can't let it out to the appointed people in my life. Btw, It is weird thinking about it in the middle of the night. It's like I'm having a major I'm-in-love-and-I-can't-help it-crisis. Thanks to my friends who dealt with this. They inspired me to reflect on this thingy deeply. =)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

wee!




Yesterday was a bright sunny day. I thought the weather would stay just like that throughout the day. While accompanying my auntie to Mendaki (more like babysitting her pride and joy), We decided to go to east Coast Park to have lunch, cousin and sister dearest tagged along. At first, we decided to take the bus. After a few minutes of compromising, we just realised that the bus is only available during weekends. So we walked through the tunnel. It was just a short distance. But poor auntie carrying an almost 3kg one month old baby is already panting once we reached the foodcourt. Imran is afraid of echoes. Hahaks! We were talking in the tunnel, of course echoe can be heard. Everytime when echoes occured he will hold on tight to the nearest hand he could grasp. Should have take his scared-face picture and show him when his older.

During our lunch the rain started to pour. Aaaaaaaargh! Since it's a weekday I was just thinking to sit on the soft sand along the beach while waiting for my mom to pick us up. But it seem that the weather envy myself. Hmph! We shelter ourselves at the nearby hut. But little Imran is getting naughty-er by the day he started to monkey-ing around, destroying abandoned sand castles and chasing birds. The cousins had nothing better to do but to guard him to stay put in the hut. Haiya! Anyways, once the rain started to ease, niat dihatiku akhirnya tercapai. wee!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

rejuvenated? oooh yeah!!

Indonesia Trip was cancelled.. Booo huuu! =(

But, but, my parents are generous to repay it by paying my uncle a visit at Kuantan. Hence, I celebrated my EidulAdha at Kuantan. Gotta be honest that am not too ecstatic about that. I spent last year's Adha there, this year's EidulFithrie there, This year's Eid. There too. To some, its a no big deal. But for me, celebrating Eid with fellow cousins, uncles and aunties in Singapore is a big deal. We can sense the kecoh-ness of the celebration already before we even reach my grandparent's house.

However frustrated i was, the celebration this time was otherwise *in Kuantan. Early in the morning, we went to the mosque, did our Solat then documenting the sacrifices, watching it make us laugh so hard. Hasbi *my cousin* Put on a brave act and snatched the rope a way from an old man. But then, when the cow is getting nearer and was escaping from the rope with a great force he let go of the rope and run like a *cough2* pondan. After the sacrifices, we go back to my uncle's house then eat. We spent half of the afternoon sleeping. Ah yes! It's a bliss. Sleep is my treasure nowadays. too precious. More precious than anything else.

Okay.. Let's skip to the most enjoyable part of this trip.

Since the boys *my cousins* volunteered with the sacrifices, my uncle treat us to go to the Waterfall, if, the weather is bright! weeee heee!! Yah2, I go to Kuantan nearly every 3 months. But... I've not been to the waterfall since I was 4 or so. So, it has been 10 years since I last step into that charming yet cunning water. So, that morning, the heavy-sleeper woke up very early in the morning and didn't sleep after Subuh. What a miracle! At about 10am we reached the waterfall, and the fun begins! Let the pictures do the talking. You have to experience it to understand what i'm talking about. Although i experienced a near-drowned incident it is still fun. Thats the kind of adventure I would love to experience. No pain no gain.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I was late for tuition today. And it ruined my whole day!
I was snappy at every little things. And I hate it!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

2008!

2007 is horrible. There were some wonderful moments but dull, sad, terrible, lonely, miserable moments clouds the wonderful moments. I hardly ever remember those wonderful moments. Just the feeling remain. But i'll survive 2007. December has yet to go through.

Whatever it is, I just want 2007 to leave ASAP! Hopefully 2008 will be a better year InsyaAllah. Anyways I hate my new spectacles! It makes me look nerdy. The frameless one got broken. hehe. Besides, i've been using it for 2 years now. And, so far that was a record for me since most of my spectacles doesn't survive for more than 7 months. this one is lucky!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

=D

Council Camp is finally over. I can say that I fit in very well in my group. I was much comfortable in this year's group than last year's. The camp was great! Although it doesn't level up to my expectation it was still great. I love the accomodation! Please, please, please make it a tradition! Dun listen to the survival mode suggestion. Hahaks! *eh the words rhyme lah!* The most challenging activity would be guarding our flag and snatching others. I forgot what it's call lah. Poor Sir Nash was scolded by Izzul. During this period also my headache menjadi-jadi. Actually it was there since afternoon. That's the reason why I'm a tad quiet.

The camp is not physically challenging. I dun get it why too many coucillors are injured. And some brags about it. I did feel the pain too. It's a muscle ache, so? What's the big deal? My group members experience it too but they are strong enough to get through with the camp. Well done guys! Maybe, the upcoming camp should test our endurance. It's ok to complain and stuff but please dun whine. If you know it'll be tough and you can't handle it then better off at home. Dun waste ur parents money. I understand those injured. But I dun understand those who whined. Ur a councillor toughen up a bit.

However fantastic-al the camp was, I could die of thirst! The food is sufficient. But the amount of water was tooooooooo little. Not enough. This is a feedback not whining. Hahaks!

I haven't had a full rest after the camp. The day after, I have my Maths classes already. And I slept in class. How embarassing! My tutor was calling me but I didn't reply him. Nabil and his sister is already laughing at me. I think my tuition-mates realised that I was asleep. Today, had netball practice. Which i waited for hours for the ball and captain to arrive. I was left alone at the court for nearly 2 hours! Herk! Herk! Herk! Closety came up with the idea that my teammates are pulling a prank. Nice one closefriend. Played only for about 45 minutes until the rain keeps pouring up til this hour. I hate December! It's always pouring. But everything is not in our will right? We don't have power to control over things. We don't have power to control people's heart nor their mind. Right closety?

~Am dissapointed but still living happily~ =D

Friday, November 30, 2007

I'm tired! Woke up early in the morning report for work at 8am. Yups! I got a job, just to fill in my boredom. Then, rush for Group meeting. So far I had a blast during our meet. Zulza with his constant pouting. !!Adik!! and her shy-ness. Kak Aini with her merepek-ness. Kak Arifah beind teased. Uwais and his never ending "thinking" face. Only three people attended today's meeting. But it was fun, still. We re-do our group cheer. Which after !!Adik!! complains that it is a little crappy. Well personally I think the cheer is crappy too, but it is out of the ordinary. Thats why I like it! Anyhow, Zulza and I re-do the cheer from head to toe. And it was pretty good. It's a combination of three songs. Look out for this "unique" yet "enjoyable" cheer councillors! and of course teachers too *duh!

well, holiday season is ending. we have at least a month to prepare for next year. Time fly very fast eh? I have to go to Bras Basah tomorrow to buy my textbooks. Hopefully someone is willing to accompany me. I hate going out alone. I've been busy babysitting Imran and his little brother too. That little kid grow up too fast. last time I check he was just learning how to walk. Today he's already running and jumping up and down the bed. Sigh! It's hard to keep up with him.

There's so many things bugging my mind. With closety not around, it just makes it harder for me to express myself. Yup2.. Thats how dependent I am. It's Closety's fault! Hees. Oh! btw, my sister is coming back from KL tonight. It's a school trip or something. I enjoy being alone at home during the day though. At least when she's not around I can sleep without the lights turn on. Personally, I think sleeping with the lights off is better. It took me hours to sleep when the lights are turn on. Thats the reason why I am constantly yawning during school hours and tutoring session.

Blogger sucks, for now!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Kan tgh holiday...?

Forget about the job application~ I actually got a job as a fliers distributor. The pay is quite ok.. working hours are from 5-9pm. Pay is $5 per hour. Called the person and the next hour... Taaa Daaaaa! i'm hired!! weee! But then... here comes the obstacle. Tuition will start soon. A-maths class is starting really soon, Pure science lessons will start soon. I have no idea how I am going to enjoy this holiday. Hmph! Plus, the weather is not so good these days. Blame me for dreaming to be a surgeon. Huh~ But chasing your dream is good right? Just like closety always said "Believe in your dreams" Hahahaks! Well, I am not the focused kind.

Anyways, Say Hi to Keluarga Badrun's latest addition. Welcome to the world! brace yourself for an interesting adventure little one!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

penatnyer!

School's out scream and shout!! is it better for me to take up a job or simply lay in bed all day or waste my allowance on clothes and shoes? Hmph!

Oh! Bedok sell the most affordable clothes lah sey! Very cheap! I bought a long sleeves dress for only $1 and it has great designs on it too.. Worth it! Gotta go shopping at bedok more rather than Bugis!

Regarding my results, I can't believe my grades. They're just tremendously surprising. I thought my form teacher miscalculated the marks.








Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I'm Over the Moon!


Back to the old days. It has been a long time since I played Ice & Water, Police and thief and hide-and-seek. Since we attended for the sexuality workshop, we missed the Indoor games completely. We get bored easily, and soon found out a rusty game from a childish brain to play hide-and-seek, shortly after we played ice & water, Police & thief and lots of other games that are meant for little children. Anyhow, I did enjoy myself today. =D




Until one of the teachers had to interrupt the fun of course. Don't they have anything better to do? Like, recording the students' grades into their report book or something?




Niwae, I found a weird sandwich today. Would you like to eat a sandwich filled with tuna, spicy tuna, chocolate, topped with thousand island. Sounds horrible rite? The look of it freaks me out. I bet, the Exco members ate that one. Hees!




If you are very curious. You might wanna try it out! MAI students speacialised in that particular sandwich. Have a taste, and tell me what it taste like. Maybe, it turns out to b good, than MAI will have another source of income than just having soo many Fridays waste for tabung jumaat. No hard feelings yar. Just stating my view ;)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

There's many things I could do. But I could never hate you. I care about you too much.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

AAAAAAAAAH!! Its Over!!

Joy!! Exam is Over!! Yay!!

Ok so, we got our papers back from the respective teachers. I'm not so proud of my performance this season. I suck Big Time! I failed my Science paper! 47/100?? What the heck?? I stayed up all night studying scince. Neglected my Ulumul Quran. Then I failed. Hmph! Just hope that I won't fail my Ulumul Quran. Which I think I will actually.

Hari Raya is almost over. But I just started to warm up. Haiya! Long time no blogging! I miss blogging so much. a lot of things happened in my life. Had a rough start this month. But things are ok now. I'm ok now. I guess I just hafta be a little patient.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

"Hold on to the light that guides you, Hold on to the air that cools you"~Khairul

I'm holding on to your words best friend. =D

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

sometimes it is hard to do the right thing.

Priority. Which is more important? Knowledge? Survival? Friends? Family? Music? Luxury? Huh!~ There were times when we get all confused about it. Or maybe it is just me who get all confused.



Between friends and family. How do you know that your friends are more trustworthy than your family? Are you certain about mixing with the right crowd? There's a saying that our friend is the reflection of us. If we mix around with bad company, coincidently people will judge us as one of them.

Sometimes it is hard to do the right thing.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Its still Raya month lahs!

exam season has started. and I predict my Maths tutor will get infected by the exam fever. Why is it that every time exam season visit the school, I will have a very bad fever? Just like last year's and this year's mid-year. Nevermind, I'll bear the consequnces.

I haven't studied a single word from any textbook. well, except for Maths and Fiqh. I just love maths too much lahs!! Its really fun.

I'm slacking science. Anyone care to teach?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

"aku nak balik... balik asal"

"Nanti Raya aku nak balik.. Balik asal" and indeed, his wish came true. My beloved grandfather passed away yesterday morning at 3am. 3rd Syawal, 3rd day of Raya, 3am in the morning. I felt so alone and lost when he's gone. Thanks to Ain for comforting me.

My grandfather meant alot to me. he's the one who taught me how to ride the bicycle. He's the one who got me addicted to Geylang's foodcourt. And. He's the one who adds up my pocket money.

When the nurse called us at 2+++++am my heart suddenly sank. She didn't inform us that granddad was in the verge of death. When we reached the hospital it was already 3am. she informed us that grandfather was gone. Forever. Never coming back.

He opened his eyes on the 1st day of syawal. But was on pain killer (morphine) by the next day. I was content as I have the opportunity to at least accompany him at the hospital til his very last breath.

I was shocked as his condition was progressing on the last day of Ramadhan. But stagnant on the 2nd day of Syawal. I didn't expect him to leave us so soon. But if it's the best for him then I have nothing else to say. Besides, it is time for him to leave after 82 years of serving Allah.

His departure was calm and peaceful. He even had a smile on his face.

*I wish closety was there*

Saturday, October 06, 2007

=D

its the 25th of Ramadhan already! I have yet to bake cookies, buy new shoes and clothes! I'll be dead by the end of this month. Slept for 2 hours everyday. Only God knows what I did during the wee hours. *sigh*

Went to Joo Chiat to shop for Raya needs. But as usual, nothing interest me. The clothes aren't as gorgeous as last year's. This year, practically all boutiques sell the same design. I hope I can find something different before Raya. I have yet to check out the bazaar. Although I drop by there nearly every day after school, but I have not check out the clothes section, carpets, accessories and lots of other stuff... Looking forward to go there with my mom. Mom ain't a shopaholic, but once she's in the mood. She would buy what she likes. Hees.

Talking about Raya... Closety's last day is drawing soon. Very soon indeed. Strange thing about it, I'm not sad. One of his friends, are already brooding about it which I find it quite riddiculous. I'm not criticising, just stating my view. =) Back to the riddiculous thingy-----> Kays, firstly,
-Why would you cry if you know you'll keep in touch?
-Why would you cry if you know he won't forget you?
-Why would you cry if you know he treasures you?

I've tried to comfort this particular person, but my effort doesn't seemed to pay off.

Hmmm... ok, ok I admit I was a little worried if he would forgets me... But for now I'll just live up the moment.

~Make this chapter better, afterall its storyline determines the ending of our life.