Dear 17 years old me

My vulnerable heart

Be strong

No one can change you

But you

My fragile eyes

Be strong

No one can stop you

But you

My doubtful mind

Be strong

No one can help you

But you

A little Spice

Chilli Chilli Chilli! I'm in LOVE with Chilli!

You can't really blame me for loving it. I was raised by a Malay-Loving-Chilli couple afterall. Since I was craving for some mind-blowing, tounge prickling spiciness, I decided to snack on some chilli padi today. It doesn's taste as bad as I thought it would be. It's actually pretty good.

The Perfect Timing

Examination is over and so is school! After 11 years of mandatory education it finally ended. My life has been pathetic thus so far. Dedicating my time and energy on precious books. No social life whatsoever. Not even socializing with my own family members!

You see, I kinda believe in cliche quotes; those about success. They are kinda true. As corny as this sounds, I am going to embark on a new journey. *jeez I sounded old*

I'm not going to deny that I will definitely miss my friends and teachers too but I am excited to actually officially leave the school compound. I can now do almost anything that I wanted, almost. But right now, I think I'll just catch up with my friends and family.

Sunday Morning

Don't we all love it when we wake up knowing that it's lazy day? And then time flew very fast and suddenly it's Monday and last week's craziness haunts you all over again. It sucks isn't it?

mindless rambling of an unhappy student

Farewell 2009. Hello 2010.

2 more days to the boring old school days and goodbye to the good life. I am so dreading 2010. I hate adapting to change. Unfortunately so, there are so many changes for me this year. Damn. But but, I'll try to stay positive. Yep that's it. I'm gonna try to be positive. Happy thoughts, and happy thoughts only. Negativity is not allowed. I'm gonna miss waking up late. Doing nothing. Eating anything and not care about the world but myself, selfish right? I know.

I have yet to finish my 2009 homeworks. Enlighten me dear school. Anyway, weren't we taught to move on and not look back?

Oh yeah, positive attitude. Doing homework is fun.

Somewhere in between

There's always sweetness in this bitterful life.

Tidal

It has been awhile now, and I am still wondering where to go.

Post-Exam Activities are keeping me busy. One after another, no break for me. I'm exhausted.

A state of indifference

I think nerds have a good life. Nothing to bother them except for examination or school or whatever that's school related. Which they have a higher probability to ace than me. They indulge themselves in books and educational things and find joy in them. I hardly find any joy these days.

Maybe I should try and talk to someone about this. But I don't think anybody will understand. They thought I have a good life. That I do, but had that is.

Fresh Dew

I feel like flying away. Far far away from this craziness. A place where noone knows me and cannot judge me, you know?

I wish that life could at least somehow be more simple and predictable but that would make it dull wouldn't it? But the uncertainty somehow amuse me. How people has changed over stupid reasons. Hurting others for their own happiness. I guess most people are unpredictable that way.

Since you won't care anymore, then why should I? There's no reason for me to stay if you keep pushing me away. I'm not going to waste my time and spare you my attention. I have other friends to care for.

Goodbye.

Raya Fever

STE is done and over! I hate last minute studying but I always find myself in that pit. It's over anyway. So, due to STE my jalan raya was delayed and I had that stupid eye disease for more than a week. I mean, who would want to go to Raya outings amidst the Exams right? That's just stupid.

But everything is fine now. I don't have conjuntivitis anymore and exam is over. The only thing that bothers me is that Raya is almost over, and I am so bumped that I just felt the heat now. Who's up for jalan raya anytime later?

Sheesh. That makes me feel like a weirdo.

Serenity

So I celebrated eid at Kuantan for the second time. There's no rush of excitement this year. I've always loved eid. This time it was just different. A little bland but still fun nonetheless. Despite suffering from a severe acute conjuctivitis I am still high on celebrating eid no matter how bland it may be or *painful. Raya pictures will be posted later.

Did I mention that STE is on this coming Monday? Yet I am having fun entertaining guests rather than cooped up in my untamed room studying.

Hello World

I'm still having problems with blogger. Damn you. Puase-puase buat orang marah. I somehow find myself indifferent about celebrating raya this year. Is it because geylang is densely boring this year?

masked

I think my muscles are cramp from sitting at home for a week. Seriously. There's nothing much to do really. I think I prefer going to school and kill time or learn something in the process then go home and sleep. Definitely better than being mom's helper. Which I'm not really consider I sleep almost 80% of the time spent at home. I caught someone's flu during IG. My body temperature was crazily high. It went as high as 40.0 at some point. I'm still having fever now but not as bad. I wonder who was sick that day. Because the others are sick too.

floating in the air

School is still very boring. I think I prefer the filthy streets of Geylang and that afternoon session. Do you know how hard it is for me to get up early in the morning? I am not a morning person and I love to SLEEP. I have to wake up at 5 15am every morning to get ready for school and get out from the house at 6 10am. All those while losing precious time to sleep. I know I'm terrible. But I love sleeping too much.

Tests are piling up and I'm too lazy to study for it.

Universal

A cool video that I found while watching some crap on youtube. I bet the editting was a killer!

1276m

Mount Ophir or simply known as Gunung Ledang to us was more than just a mountain. I guess we underestimated it. I thought it was just like climbing Bukit Timah or Mount Faber. But hell, it was worst. Our poor guide had to wait for us patiently and everly smiling at us with a meaningful smile.

Why, you ask?

Because we are the SLOWEST group and WORST group he ever guided. Let's just say we are too kecoh, complain alot and just too slow. Other climbers took 5 hours or 6 hours to reach the peak. But we took 6 hours to reach Checkpoint 6 - Gua Kambing. Pathetic much? But it was still fun and enjoyable. I'd love to go there again with the same group of people, however slow they maybe. They are still fun.

We instantly bonded after Mahirah got sick. She was feeling unwell and Faizal helped to carry her bag. Since then we all bonded. Mahirah's sickness might be a blessing in disguise. After that, more people got sick. The first hour was a torture for me. Almost everyone threw up. Hearing them emptying their guts made me want to throw up too! It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. But I managed to stay strong and not throw up.

Ledang tested my patience and perseverance. I wonder why I couldn't endure silat training. Lack of passion maybe? Somehow I was leading all the way til we reach our dorm. Or silat training prepared me for that climb. Going downhill and uphill and all of those tiring stuff. Thank you Cik Fendi!

Uphill was challenging. Damn! They forgot to remind me that it's a mountain. A freaking mountain with rocks that you have to crawl to make your way up. And using ropes and ladders to support you. Lucky me for my rock climbing experience.

Unlucky us because it started raining when were descending. The others excluding me brought their poncho along. But I didn't. So I had to brace the coldness of the rain. Did i mention that Gunung Ledang is very cold? If i didn't it is verrryy Cold -with a capital C.

Cold and too much water is not a perfect combination when you are up in the mountains with absolutely no toilets whatsoever.

Since, there wasn't any toilets up there, we had to build one. Oh, You know what I mean. A portable-poncho-based toilet. What do you expect? It's a 12 hours ascend and descend. =p

Our motivation to keep on going was food. Good local food. "Teh Sarbat!" *inside joke, people*
Once we saw that the others are lagging behind we would shout their favourite food to motivate them. We expected to get kudos from them or at least an appreciation but boy were we wrong. Just as Kak Nisa located us she said "Pasal korang lah aku jatuh. Prata lah Ice Lemon Tea lah. Memekak je." Sedih eh?

Well for me to summarise the trip will be more than a post long. So I guess I better stop here before I bore you with it.

Ledang was a memorable experience for. Although I was dissapointed that I didn't summit that day, it was still enjoyable and unforgettable. To be that close to nature and Him. To meet wonderful people and bonded with them was truly a once in a lifetime experience. The others might give up to try and summit ledang. But I vow to return to Ledang and summit by any means.

Pakai helicopter pun helicopter lah.. =p

intensity

Training was hell after such a long time. I wasn't enjoying it at all. I felt dizzy which I never experience before. But I know it's worth my time and pain.

To my smugglers thank you for smuggling me in. You know who you are. =D

18

Happy Birthday Siti Az-Zahroh Effendi!!
I'm a little late I guess. heh.

drenched in sweats

I am so craving for this right now.

The weather is so Freaking HOT nowadays and my AC is not working. Tough Luck. :(

Stranger

I was watching Seven Pounds. The value of a life is incomparable. Lives that were broken couldn't be mended. I have to deal with the lives that I broke. Live and deal with the guilt. I couldn't turn back time. Nothing could be fixed. I can't take back all my words nor actions. I can only be forgiven. I'm Sorry.